Static

Hi folks, here’s another retrospective post for you below. . .

*****

Anyone who has run, cycled, swum (or some combination of all three!) any distance will tell you that taming your mind is as important as training your body. Every time you hit the trail, hop on your bike or get in the pool, especially for a longer period of time, you run up against your own unique set of mental obstacles. Your body is pretty remarkable in its ability to keep going even as your mind tells you otherwise.

Different people have different approaches to the mental game involved in any such pursuits, and over the past eight months or so, I’ve relied on a combination of methods to keep myself going and keep burnout and low motivation at bay. But it’s been a difficult few months, I’ve been pulled in many different directions, and in spite of my continued dedication to my training (and some spectacular encouragement and cheerleading from Nicola), my mind seems to have broken a bit. So, what do you do when the screaming tantrums stop and all that’s left is static?

I’m not quite sure how to answer. In my training for Sunday’s Bonfire Burn these last six weeks, I’ve done every workout without slacking, but something’s been missing. Usually, once I get going on a longer run, my thoughts start to float by, my mental tension begins to unravel, and I find that addictive sense of peace and contentment. Not lately, though. I’m not so far gone as to regret my workouts, but the satisfaction just isn’t there. Nothing is there. So why am I bothering with any training at all right now? Again, I don’t have a good answer. Because it’s on my training plan? Because I’ve already paid my race entry fees and I might as well?

In the meantime, I’m trudging along. What happens after Sunday? I have absolutely no idea. Usually, I’ll have a pretty clear feeling of what my body and my mind need, but lately, even my inner voice of reason has gone silent. Rest seems to be called for, but beyond that?

On the plus side, my months of triathlon training mean that my body keeps going in spite of the silence. I find some small comfort in being able to run five miles in such a state. In spite of any physical flaws – real, perceived, or societally acquired – my body’s ability to do something badass like that bolsters my self-esteem in a small way.

The question still remains: what to do after the race? It looks as though I’m just going to be winging it. I’ll keep up with Monday Bootcamp, as it’s definitely helping with my overall strength, but I can’t say much beyond that. I do like my structure, but perhaps a complete and utter lack of it is exactly what’s needed. I’ll be honest: I’m a little afraid. What will I do without regularly scheduled workouts that prepare me for a tangible goal? Will I give in to the dark and the cold and hide under the duvet until late January? I’m hoping that after a bit of rest, my body will reboot and start telling me what to do again. I could certainly use the guidance.

~ by slowrunner on December 12, 2014.

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